have you ever

Have you ever thought the sky was a black cloth, and the stars were holes? That the light from the stars came from beyond this cloth, beyond the holes, from a different place, something larger? Have you ever thought the stars were windows giving on another world?

Have you ever wished to disappear? Have you ever thought about what it meant to exist? If no one knows I'm alive, if I am part of nobody's conscience, do I exist? Can I be conscious of the world without it being conscious of me?

Have you ever found yourself unable to accept that you existed? Have you ever realized that you would keep fighting, if for no more reason than not understanding it? Have you ever noticed how existence is larger than life, and that dying is not disappearing? Because of conscience.

Have you ever seen that you do not belong anywhere? That you are ageless, yet always too young or too old? That you are both unique and ordinary, like nothing else and just like everybody? Have you ever noticed that your thoughts have become like a book, and that they have cut you off from what you used to think was life, society?

Have you ever gazed at the stars and wondered what could be found beyond them? Have you ever wished you could be there, instead of here, instead of now? Have you ever been unsatisfied by time and space? Have you ever wondered how they could determine who was insane?

I have.