I cannot wait for college. Why? My brain does not live on food, or fat, or whatever it is that it's supposed to need: it lives on what I learn. And even if, during the summer, I can read a book a day, easily, it's not enough. My brain is turning to jello and I can't take it! I am not craving brownies or bread or pasta, I am craving mathematics and physics and chemistry and litterature and this silly class on the influence of the media in politics that I picked at random. When I am at school, I am a student. I am also a girl, a teenager, a friend, a lunatic, but mainly I am a student. And loving what you are is nice for a change, isn't it?
This is one of the reasons why I want to become a surgeon. I love school, I love learning, I love challenges. I guess I'm okay at it too, not the best in any of my classes, but definitely over average. I want to study for years and years, and then have a job that keeps me insanely busy and on the brink of exhaustion. Until I want to have a life of some sort. If I still even have friends by then!
Oh and, incidentally, I believe I have fallen in love with the wrong person again. Ha. I wish it was only incidental. Gah. It's terrible.
It's about being thin again. It's about the lack of food and sleep and dreams. If I always run on a deficit there's no time to be crazy. No energy. Is this really what I want?
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