Or almost. I've been reading far too many books to be considered one of the living (I like the dead better anyways, or the fictional, I should say). The Brontë sisters make fine company.
I'm not sure where I'm headed right now. I've been out of school for a week and I already miss the schoolwork. I've been doing a lot of tutoring and shifts at the Bed and Breakfast, learning Spanish, playing guitar, reading, cleaning... Everything is so very easy and relaxing. Today I took a long walk downtown with a friend and we talked about parents and jealousy and literature.
I haven't cut since that night. I probably would have, had the proper instruments been available, but I didn't. I don't think I will do it again unless something disastrous occurs. And when you're as dramatic as I am, that isn't entirely unlikely.
My grades were less than satisfying this session: my average has slumped from 92% to 90%, but I think it will pick up next session, if I'm not sick as often (though that doesn't excuse anything!). School is important to me, so this was rather disappointing.
I saw a skinny girl today and I felt massive. But I'm too tired for anything to affect me much, I am still recuperating from last session (stupid stupid under-achieving immune system) and this heat is keeping me awake- it will be the death of me.
I can feel it coming though. The panic. The anxiety.
Can't it wait?
I don't think I could take it right now.
4 comments:
Put a DND sign on your door so the panic stays away? *Huggles* If all else fails go camp out in the walk-in fridge of the local booze store so you can have a decent sleep.
One reason (Besides being lazy and a spaz) for me not going to lectures this semester is that all the skinny chicks make me feel like there should be a tuba-player following me around. Yikes! Not good for self-confidence!
You're awesome. I hope you have a great weekend <3
i hope the anxiety leaves you in peace. you deserve to enjoy your summer. xo
Oh hunny, i'm sure you're beautiful and much skinnier than you think. We all have those issues thinking we're bigger than we really are.
Try not to stress so much, love. I know that's easier said than done, but try to find something relaxing to do for at least an hour a day, something that will take your mind away from all the things stressing you out.
Hang in there, and try hanging out in any place that has air conditioning as long as you can. Ever napped in a library? It's actually quite nice. Lol. I still love you bigger than the sky!
Oh, how I love you...
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