Saturday, October 23, 2010

so many things I hadn't broken, shattered


I don't mean to hurt you. You just need to go away, leave now. There are too many things that I can break. Too many people I can betray. Please do not be one of them.These impulses are inside me and I know they are stronger than I'll ever be. I am scared!

I so desperately want to escape to my dreamland of books and music and open spaces. But now they provoke me because I am not worthy of beautiful things. You have always given me words and sounds and beauty, and the harder I try to get away from you, the more I receive. Furious I am left with the burnt pages of printed-out messages and the clippings of what used to be my earphones. I can't stand the things I love anymore.

You're next.

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