everyone has a secret, can't i keep a few?

When I was twelve years old I found pornographic pictures on my father's computer. I cried for days and days. I didn't understand why they would be there. I deleted them. I found a video tagged XXX, mixed in with my sister's cassettes, I threw it out. I saw the school counselor and she made me burn a letter adressed to him. I never wrote it, I didn't tell her, the enveloppe was empty, I couldn't find the words.

Ever since, I've been writing. Ever since, I've been burning letters. At school, I learned that destruction was a way to cope with your problems.

I still do not understand.