Part of me wishes I could take it all back. I feel guilty, I feel hurt and I miss you so much. If only I was completely selfish. Or completely selfless. One or the other, not both. It wouldn't hurt so much. And all the whining in the world won't change a thing. Why is it everyone I love leaves me? Worst, that I make them leave me? What is wrong with my head? I thought I was in control; I am not in control. I am sick, I am sick, sick... Dear God what will I do...
I will be selfless.
I will be selfless.
I will be selfless.
I will lose my self. I have already lost myself. These are only words, I only have words. Words that hurt and betray. Words can't only bring people closer they can cut you off. They are the deadliest weapon, and they are so easy to use, it's so easy to hurt you and I gave in... to my good side?
This is a mess. How can you resent something you did to yourself?
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It's taken away even the words.Words are rivers and thoughts are oceans and my head is dry and coarse. Desertic. November is here.
1 comment:
This is beautiful. I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now, but this message has a soul, a heart that beats. Thank you for sharing all this to us. And I hope you will find answers to your questions. Soon.
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