super-J

I've been busy. Busy is good, busy is safe.

Lots of work, lots of being a rebel- I am on strike, you see, like a lot of students here, against university tuition hikes. Imagine: me, a rebel. I'm about the least rebellious person in any given group of young adults.

Lots and LOTS of running around, and just running. Also, I got a tragus piercing. I like it.

I've been eating just under 1000 calories for weeks now. Too terrified to step on a scale: 1000 is too big a number. How could I eat 1000 anything? But I'm forcing it down. I can do it, I can be healthy and lose weight. As if. I feel enormous. Oh, bother.

I'm in this constant state of hyperreality and it's fucking awesome. I feel like a superhero. A lame, fat superhero, but a superhero nonetheless. I can't believe I got myself to sit down and write this. I must really love you! I've barely written in days. I did read ten books last weekend which is a new record, I think. Woot woot.

I won't even let the bad thoughts ruin my good mood. Nothing can stop me now! And it's really QUITE exciting.

still here... just barely... reading my life away

Please listen to Hey Rosetta and tell me if it moves you. It would make my life. They're Canadian but don't be too quick to judge: we have good music too!... It's just no one cares.

I just keep crawling back here today. I'm lonely, I think. Lost. Disenchanted. All that jazz.

Tired too. But I'm only just starting to push the limit. I don't have the buzz yet, the starving high. The ensuing uncontrollable mania (and I mean mania in the most loose, undiagnosed way, i'm not so presomptuous (or so stupid) as to make a false claim to insanity) (or am I?)

i'm counting calories

i'm throwing up

i'm taking laxatives

i'm feeling on edge

i'm back

ATTEMPT at blogging

I've lost the will to write.

Or maybe it's the capacity. There's drive but no content, which can only result in frustration.

Since Peri asked, the books I've read during March Break are:

- Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions by Edwin Abbott (do not be fooled... not a Harlequin or a joke about flat-chested women!)
- Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
- On the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
- Suicide Notes by Michael Thomas
- Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
- The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood
- Practical Astronomy by Storm Dunlop (... crazy name)
- A Very Short Introduction to Superconductivity by Stephen Blundell
- Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku
- A Series of Unfortunate Events: A Terrible Tale by Lemony Snicket

Obviously they aren't all recommended to the general public in the sense that some of them are very specific and probably dull to most people... BUT:

Flatland was amazing, it's a book about a Square who lives in a two-dimensional world and discovers the three-dimensional world. It's also a satire of Victorian society. It really makes you think about other dimensions that exist mathematically but are beyond our perception... Also it's pretty funny.

You should definitely read Oryx and Crake if you like Dystopian fiction. Margaret Atwood is a renowned Canadian writer (so she's probably virtually unknown everywhere else) but she has a lot of talent and Oryx and Crake is probably my favourite novel of hers, along with its sequel Year of the Flood and another dystopian novel, The Handmaid's Tale.

I heard of Suicide Notes from Amaris Starshine. The first half feels like any other Young Adult novel about psych wards (somehow mental disorders have become glamorous and trendy- what the fuck?) but the second half is very insightful in its exploration of teenage acceptance of (spoiler alert!) homosexuality. I'm pretty sure that last sentence made no sense in the English language. Mais au moins je parle le français!... même si au Québec, c'est une langue un peu hideuse. Et assez anglaise merci.

Finally, Fast Food Nation was an eye-opener: I mean you'd guess these things about the food industry as a worst-case scenario, but you don't REALLY expect it to be true... I'll let you read the book! Not fancying a big, greasy burger anytime soon.

Well, I hope you like books because that's all I have to write about. Maybe in the springtime I'll feel creative again... Nothing I write is beautiful anymore... Maybe it never was. (maybe it doesn't even really matter in the long run)

Still alive. Getting back to being me. Promise I'll post when I'm well and actually have something valid to say. Thinking of just doing homework all night: god it's good to be me again (the real me)

I need a thunderstorm

I'm slipping back into my old habits. I am sick

FINALLY

on break! A full, beautiful week off! SO MANY BOOKS WILL BE READ

Hopefully, posts will also be written. Just let me gather my wits!

I'm so tired. My grades are slipping. SCHOOL IS THE ONLY THING I'M GOOD AT don't let me lose that too.