Me, tired

I keep eating chocolate instead of meals. I keep crying myself to sleep. The holidays are not doing me much good.

I ran away from another party. If I don't belong with my friends so I belong anywhere at all? Cried in the driveway, cried in the car.

My father keeps letting his wife hurt me. He used to be the one person who'd never do me harm. I feel betrayed. Cried in bed, in the shower, outside in my meadow.

I don't know where I'm going, who I am or what I'm doing anymore. I don't want to see anyone. I want to sleep for a very long time and maybe read a little. I don't want to eat anymore because it makes me nauseous. I don't want to think this is a good reason to starve, I don't want to even have a reason to starve, but I do.

Please please please just let me sleep in peace