I live in a world of corpses. Of still-borns. I am the only person on earth.
.
Today I saw a bird run up the roof of an abandonned house, and I thought, how odd. It was the most pertinent thought in the last week of my existence. Because really nothing else could be more true. Except for the rain.
I don't want to exist. I don't want to be. I don't want to starve. I want more than this passiveness.
And they wonder why death is so alluring.
3 comments:
this is one of the most beautiful and real posts ive ever read. im so sorry your hurting this much.sometimes i just wish i could stop breathing. just to be still would be so great. its not enough to just exsist and i understand that emptiness. just hold on. one of the few things that keep me sane is to think about how so many people have it far worse than i do. sometimes its the little things that will keep us here. i hope you can find that peace.
stay strong and hang in there. id love to hear more from you, with or without the starvation you have proved how beautiful you are.
stay strong
meg
email me sometime if you need someone to talk to :)
Oh Jillian. I want you to exist, to be here. I think you are a marvelous writer! I know one day you will have something published, your writing is too good to go unappreicated.
Please try to reach out to someone. I want you to be ok, I don't want you to hurt.
Oh, sweetie... i know just how you feel. I've been there before. The only thing that can help is to find a reason to continue living (i know, easier said than done...). If i could find that for you, i would, and if i could take your pain for you i would. Just remember that you are loved and do your very best to feel better soon. *hugs*
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