Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Thoughts of a neglecting blogger


I have been neglecting my blog and my followers- for shame! This will soon change, I promise. My gross behavior will no longer be excused.

I have however been following your blogs and other blogs of mention with passion and determination. You inspiring young ladies are fantastic.

My life is, how do I put this, dull. The repetitiveness of fatigue and muscle pain and secrecy and shame, the constant numbers on the scale, on the nutrional value tags and on the measuring tape, the dry, bitter cold, without a hint of wind or sunlight or rain... It's driving me insane.

I need change. NOW. Variety. Heterogeneity. Multifariousness. Other fancy synonyms. I want to blend my life into a potpourri of excitement and emotions. I know it's ridiculous, because I can't keep my emotions under control, but they're part of who I am. So I deal with it.

Why do always feel this frustrating need to create with my bare hands? I am not a good artist: I play camfire guitar, am a terrible painter and take a few measly pictures. But I want to create, I need to. I want to learn while I create. I want to write German poetry, or play the accordion.

Anyhow, for the time being, I am quarantined to my quaint, homely bedroom, with for sole company a thermometer, a bottle of water, my guitar, my trusty laptop and my adorable snoozing cat. The artist in me, if she even exists, will have to be patient.

Oh, and before I leave: I have resolved to STOP weighing myself for some time. Especially since I can't exercize. It also may be good for my self-esteem (ha!) since I must eat right now. I'm still in training and my provincial competition is in a week and a half. Oh, wait, that's right, I can't train, because I am ailing, bedridden, enfeebled and indisposed. And no amount of synonyms is going to change that. Bleh.

Beautiful pictures on their way soon. As soon as I can get off my butt and switch computers (oh the luxury of the upper middle-class). Pinky swear!

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