Dear Nobody/Anybody/Everybody/You/Great Void of the Internet,
How can I be seventeen and full of regrets?
When I'm lonely and hopeless, I wish I hadn't become what I am today. It seems so much easier to be like the other girls, to drink at parties and sometimes be ditzy and meet boys and enjoy being around people
I am stuck in who you conceive me to be, this empty, boring shell of a person. You use my pride to keep me here and now and thus, in a state of blatant imperfection and marginality. I cannot change without giving up any pretense of sanity: you will not allow it. Are you my friend? Is this what you want?
I really do wish I could be a part of people. Rather than an outsider looking in.
I gave away my youth for my future. But I'm scared that I set myself up for nothing but failure: if I hit rock bottom, what will I hold onto?
My only hope lies in the tomorrows and the elsewheres. Please, I don't want to be a screw-up. I want to be happy and I want to be me, improved. Not this sad, inadequate loser.
Really, in the dead of the night, I just want to be anything but me right here right now.
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